Growing up..

Assalamualaikum

This year, I must say, is a year of reflection. Or perhaps realization? This is the year where I’ve turned 21. A legit adult in Malaysia. (I’m legal at the age of 18 in Canada). Turning 21 was a big blow for me. End of last year, I decided to move out and live on my own. Without anyone, I am forced to take responsibility on myself. I pay my own rent, my own bills, I cook my own meals and wash my own laundry. At the same time of course, being a student, my grades are my responsibility as well. Slowly I told myself that I could do this and Alhamdulillah so far so good.

Studying overseas is fun. It’s a new environment, new weather, a new circle of friends. It is fun. But it’s not exactly easy. Not for me at least. It took me a whole year to fit in. Before coming to McGill, I knew there aren’t many Malaysians, getting a good grade is tough, French is the dominant language. Being a stubborn person that I am, I took up the challenge anyways. Boy what a challenge it was! By the end of the school year, I was crying to my mom on skype on how stressed I was.

Alhamdulillah things got better. Slowly it got better. I got the hang of being far far away from family and close friends (well, I made new ones here of course), living on my own, the learning system. Alhamdulillah everything went into place.

The reason why I am writing this is because there are people who think that studying abroad is like taking a vacation. “Yeah, studying is hard, but you’re in Canada for God sake”..Erm, because it’s on the other side of the globe that makes it EVEN HARDER. How many times have I cringed to have my family with me during difficult times?Countless.  How many times have I contemplated to drop everything and come back?Countless. How hard it is sometimes to get in touch with your family because well..they have their own lives..Countless.I don’t get to go home during the long weekends or holidays (heck, we don’t even have a lot of hoilidays compared to Malaysia)..How many times have I been frustrated with my grades because the markings were tough?Countless. How many times have I felt lonelier than ever? Countless. How many times have I cried for being tired, disappointed and scared? Countless.

Things are not easier, just because we are at a different place. It’s how we deal with it. I chose this path (Allah has chosen it for me) and I shall walk along this path till the very end. InsyaAllah. Before I PRAYED that I’ll get somewhere furthest from home. Because I want to learn to be independent. My prayers were answered. Did everything went according to plan? Noppy nope nope. But if these things can make me grow up, then, I should be strong. Learn from it and move on. Things don’t always go our way, ABSOLUTELY. But how can you learn to stand properly without ever falling down?

Wherever we are, whatever we do, try to make the best of what Allah has given upon us. Easier said than done.

Have I wished I’m on a different path altogether?Oh boyyy YES! But that’s not what is written for me, this is. For the past two years, I have learnt so much, that I don’t know if I could have learnt it otherwise.

In times of hardship, you’ll know who your real friends are and how your family will be by your side through ANYTHING.

At the age of 21, it’s a good age to grow up isn’t it?

Growing up isn’t entirely fun. But when you get to look at things clearly, it’ll make a world of a difference. You no longer feel like slapping yourself after each decision you make.*wink*

Wasalam

Till then, A bientot,

Love,

Anggerik.